some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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