I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
