Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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