Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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