Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
