Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
