Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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