dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
