Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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