Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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