Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
