So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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