just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
