that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
