People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
this just has baby written all over it
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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