Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
