I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
