margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can't motorboat a personality
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize