when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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