just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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