I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize