I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
