Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
