Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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