The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
