i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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