I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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