You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
