I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
