guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
