I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
