We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
