Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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