I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
