Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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