I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
