you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I deserve this hangover.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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