too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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