Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
