Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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