guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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