I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
