we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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