they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
