I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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