Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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