that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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