So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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