im having a threesome with these popsicles
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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