I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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