Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
