Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
