So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a hot homeless man
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
