Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
