took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
