I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
