i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
