I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
