So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
operation have a gay friend backfired
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
