Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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