i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
