Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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